She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
