So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
