the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
