He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
