Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
