glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
