Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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