I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
