I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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