I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I looked at my own cervix.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
