I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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