No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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