omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
