We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
