One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
