i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
a search helicopter?!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
