I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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