but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
