i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well I can't set my house on fire every night
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
