Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
