Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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