Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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