My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
