this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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