i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
