No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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