I cockslap morals
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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