You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
