I'm jealous of your bromance
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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