I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
