haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
