So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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