Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
