Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
