Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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