I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
