tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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