i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize