that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
