like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
