Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Fuck appropriateness.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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