I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
