just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
