Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
