did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
