Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
