"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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