I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
