We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
