Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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