My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm like, not good at living.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
