Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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