U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
