Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
