Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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