i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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