Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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