i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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