So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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