Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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