haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
