3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize