for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's blow job season.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
