you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
