I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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